Faith is the art of holding on to things that your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
C.S. Lewis
How long has it been since I have even thought of writing my thoughts?
If I could figure out all of my problems, then there would be no need for all this constant time wasted. It appears that I cannot avoid my problems or ignore them, they seem to just continue to hover over me like some kind of looming cloud of distress, waiting for another chance to occupy my thoughts.
At the current moment I do not know how to figure out the things that are bothering me. At times I really wish that my heart and mind weren't connected. They say that it is better to have loved and lost rather than not being in love at all, yet they never said anything about how much it would hurt. I cannot even be near, it is not the same anymore. It will all take time, I hope. It does not help knowing that my "options" are none existent.
diligo est amicitia in incendia
ROCKfresh
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
P.U.S.H. Why bother?
The way to love anything is to realize it might be lost.
K. Chesterton
It has been so long since I have thought of something to write. Maybe it has been my busy schedule or maybe just the lack of things to write about. Although, I have been making an effort to reconnect to friends I have not seen for a long time, that in itself has kept me quite busy. It is almost as if I am cramming so much information into my head right before a mid-term, yet it is the new information from past events that has happened to those who I keep close. It is so great to hear from them, to hear all of the joy and excitement, new adventures and experiences, just to keep me away from thinking about the "problems" that I currently face.
I guess I just have to understand that things can't always go back to the way they were. No matter how much apologizing or "one on one's" a person can have, you just can't go back to the way they were. I guess its kind of like a roller coaster... When it first starts, it is sooo high, yet after the first fall or "disagreement," it falls sooo low. After making amends it kind of goes back up, and like friendship, it can't go all the way back UP to the highest point, it will need too much energy, or their will be doubt, so you can't really go back to the "peak". One can just hope that the roller coaster keeps going as long as it can, they have their ups and their downs, but in the end if it does end, one hopes that it was worth it. You can say, YEAH! I did it, that coaster was insane dope, or yeah we were friends, I learned so much from them.
Change is inevitable when it comes to time, people change due to different situations, I just hope that the people around me will become stronger, if they are to continue to change, all I can do is be near if I am needed. God grant me the strength to cope with the things that I cannot change.
In light of my new situations, I wonder if it was all worth it. I cannot undo what I have done, or said, or even how I reacted, I can only attempt to make things right. I miss the old days when things had a certain way of being, now I pray that I can continue to live up to who I am, who I have become and who I want to be.
I am Sorry. I will try harder.
RockFRESH
K. Chesterton
It has been so long since I have thought of something to write. Maybe it has been my busy schedule or maybe just the lack of things to write about. Although, I have been making an effort to reconnect to friends I have not seen for a long time, that in itself has kept me quite busy. It is almost as if I am cramming so much information into my head right before a mid-term, yet it is the new information from past events that has happened to those who I keep close. It is so great to hear from them, to hear all of the joy and excitement, new adventures and experiences, just to keep me away from thinking about the "problems" that I currently face.
I guess I just have to understand that things can't always go back to the way they were. No matter how much apologizing or "one on one's" a person can have, you just can't go back to the way they were. I guess its kind of like a roller coaster... When it first starts, it is sooo high, yet after the first fall or "disagreement," it falls sooo low. After making amends it kind of goes back up, and like friendship, it can't go all the way back UP to the highest point, it will need too much energy, or their will be doubt, so you can't really go back to the "peak". One can just hope that the roller coaster keeps going as long as it can, they have their ups and their downs, but in the end if it does end, one hopes that it was worth it. You can say, YEAH! I did it, that coaster was insane dope, or yeah we were friends, I learned so much from them.
Change is inevitable when it comes to time, people change due to different situations, I just hope that the people around me will become stronger, if they are to continue to change, all I can do is be near if I am needed. God grant me the strength to cope with the things that I cannot change.
In light of my new situations, I wonder if it was all worth it. I cannot undo what I have done, or said, or even how I reacted, I can only attempt to make things right. I miss the old days when things had a certain way of being, now I pray that I can continue to live up to who I am, who I have become and who I want to be.
I am Sorry. I will try harder.
RockFRESH
Sunday, May 17, 2009
MOVE For My Lord.
Faith makes everything possible... Love makes everything easy.
Dwight L. Moody
What a weekend... It was a really great experiance to be involved in the different events for RYCON. So to sum up the outcomes in these events... DANCE...not so lucky... DODGEBALL... came in second, VOLLEYBALL... Forfieted, due to conflict of schedule... and BAND... undisputed champs... hahahahah! >.< Due to the fact we only competed... well played my friends, well played indeed. All of the events were pretty unorganized, yet in the end it all worked out since it was all for the lord. In spite all of the competition, a true sense of fellowship filled the halls, different kinds of support, whether it was from PC to participant, or helping those who were hurt, or even sharing DANCE space between rival chapters. The presence of God was all around, which I would have to say was one of the best parts of the event.
Now that it is all over, its begining to sink in that there will be no more practices... No more over abundance of sweat dripping from my face from time to time, gasping for air, trying to learn the next 8 count or clean up the last. No more moments of intense frustration, dead silence, or even brain farts trying to put it all together. No more seeing the people that I shared endless hours bonding, and building friendships that I thought I would never have. Even though we did not win, just the matter of fact that we all became so much closer through praising God, makes believe that it was all worth it, a true victory on the path to our goal. Even though I did not "find love through DANCE," or gave it a try >.<... my nerves suck. I would do it all over again, and again, and again. My only regret is not going to be able to see all of my new family on a regular basis, and my lack of pocky. All in all great weekend.
Dope Talks.
RockFRESH
Dwight L. Moody
What a weekend... It was a really great experiance to be involved in the different events for RYCON. So to sum up the outcomes in these events... DANCE...not so lucky... DODGEBALL... came in second, VOLLEYBALL... Forfieted, due to conflict of schedule... and BAND... undisputed champs... hahahahah! >.< Due to the fact we only competed... well played my friends, well played indeed. All of the events were pretty unorganized, yet in the end it all worked out since it was all for the lord. In spite all of the competition, a true sense of fellowship filled the halls, different kinds of support, whether it was from PC to participant, or helping those who were hurt, or even sharing DANCE space between rival chapters. The presence of God was all around, which I would have to say was one of the best parts of the event.
Now that it is all over, its begining to sink in that there will be no more practices... No more over abundance of sweat dripping from my face from time to time, gasping for air, trying to learn the next 8 count or clean up the last. No more moments of intense frustration, dead silence, or even brain farts trying to put it all together. No more seeing the people that I shared endless hours bonding, and building friendships that I thought I would never have. Even though we did not win, just the matter of fact that we all became so much closer through praising God, makes believe that it was all worth it, a true victory on the path to our goal. Even though I did not "find love through DANCE," or gave it a try >.<... my nerves suck. I would do it all over again, and again, and again. My only regret is not going to be able to see all of my new family on a regular basis, and my lack of pocky. All in all great weekend.
Dope Talks.
RockFRESH
Friday, May 15, 2009
Reaching.
Fools rush in, where angels fear to tread.
Alexander Pope
As the big weekend of RYCON is finally approaching, many things rush through my mind, excitement, anxiety, hope, but most of all nervousness. I can only hope that I will do well in all the events that I have been registered in, and that I do not let my team down. All this preparation for DANCE and BAND, it will soon be over, it sucks because I know I have met really great people, but I know that we will not see much of each other once the event is over. Just when people are growing on you, or when your ready to talk to certain people, then BAMN no more practice. hahahahha >.< Yet I know that I will see them again soon, because the lord put them in my life for a reason, whether it is friendship, or guidance, or maybe even a relationship, all I know, is that I hope that I will see them again when this all over...
Band tomorrow, Dance Saturday, Goodtimes Sunday.... TIME FOR MY "A" GAME
May the lord grant me the strength, to get through the next days.
Tis all Mates' cheers
RockFRESH
Alexander Pope
As the big weekend of RYCON is finally approaching, many things rush through my mind, excitement, anxiety, hope, but most of all nervousness. I can only hope that I will do well in all the events that I have been registered in, and that I do not let my team down. All this preparation for DANCE and BAND, it will soon be over, it sucks because I know I have met really great people, but I know that we will not see much of each other once the event is over. Just when people are growing on you, or when your ready to talk to certain people, then BAMN no more practice. hahahahha >.< Yet I know that I will see them again soon, because the lord put them in my life for a reason, whether it is friendship, or guidance, or maybe even a relationship, all I know, is that I hope that I will see them again when this all over...
Band tomorrow, Dance Saturday, Goodtimes Sunday.... TIME FOR MY "A" GAME
May the lord grant me the strength, to get through the next days.
Tis all Mates' cheers
RockFRESH
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Wings.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Reinhold Niebuhr
Good friends, Good food, Good times. Is there anything more one can say? If there is anything that is better, than having a meal, breaking bread with the ones closest with us, tell me. So I can tell you, you are wrong! hahahahah, kidding. Today was good, the week is getting better, with the final preparations for our Regional Youth Conference coming close, and everyone cutting it to the wire, people are tense, but I for one cannot wait for the outcomes and for the great feeling of using my talents to the fullest for the LORD.
Soon, it will be over, and life can return to NORMAL, or I guess as normal that it can get to. One of my last dance practices left, I cannot say that I won't miss them, because that would be a lie. I pray that I will be able to get the job done and not let down people who are counting on me. >.<
Early work, BAHHHH! oh well.
Work, DANCE, Bonding???
RockFRESH
Reinhold Niebuhr
Good friends, Good food, Good times. Is there anything more one can say? If there is anything that is better, than having a meal, breaking bread with the ones closest with us, tell me. So I can tell you, you are wrong! hahahahah, kidding. Today was good, the week is getting better, with the final preparations for our Regional Youth Conference coming close, and everyone cutting it to the wire, people are tense, but I for one cannot wait for the outcomes and for the great feeling of using my talents to the fullest for the LORD.
Soon, it will be over, and life can return to NORMAL, or I guess as normal that it can get to. One of my last dance practices left, I cannot say that I won't miss them, because that would be a lie. I pray that I will be able to get the job done and not let down people who are counting on me. >.<
Early work, BAHHHH! oh well.
Work, DANCE, Bonding???
RockFRESH
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Creamed Ice.
Its easy to fall in love when you use these, Here, here, and here, he pointed to his Heart, Mind, and Soul.
Meg & Dia & Ronn
You know what the best kinds of friendship are? They are the ones that no matter how long it has been since you have seen them... when you do see them and you start talking, it is like you talked to them yesterday. The kind of Friendship that no matter what you know that you guys will still be friends, time can only strengthen it and bring more things to talk about when you see them again. I ran into a childhood friend earlier today, and we went on for almost an hour, filling in each other with what has happened in our lives, I can still remember the times where we played in the block center in kindergarten, or how we use to tease him for being shade blind. Wow, I can look back at everything we have been through and smile, and only hope that there is more to come.
The more you do not see someone, the more you will miss them, not forget them. I can be so dumb sometimes, trying to replace something with another thing, when I know that it won't be the same. The time apart, you will only think more and more of them, or even be reminded of them through the actions of those, or the things around you. The only way to get over them or whatever, I guess is to face your fears and lay it all out on the table. Tell them everything leave nothing out, show them, sing them, draw for them, or at lease just tell them how you feel. A wise man said, "True love, is when you tell the other person everything, hold nothing back, tell them your flaws, share with them your life... Let the Chips fall as they may. Let them love you for who you are." Sooner or later... I am going to have to step up, and make the biggest gamble of my life. Roll the dice, and find out just exactly where the chips will fall. Here's to hoping!
There is more to come, I hope =)
RockFRESH
Meg & Dia & Ronn
You know what the best kinds of friendship are? They are the ones that no matter how long it has been since you have seen them... when you do see them and you start talking, it is like you talked to them yesterday. The kind of Friendship that no matter what you know that you guys will still be friends, time can only strengthen it and bring more things to talk about when you see them again. I ran into a childhood friend earlier today, and we went on for almost an hour, filling in each other with what has happened in our lives, I can still remember the times where we played in the block center in kindergarten, or how we use to tease him for being shade blind. Wow, I can look back at everything we have been through and smile, and only hope that there is more to come.
The more you do not see someone, the more you will miss them, not forget them. I can be so dumb sometimes, trying to replace something with another thing, when I know that it won't be the same. The time apart, you will only think more and more of them, or even be reminded of them through the actions of those, or the things around you. The only way to get over them or whatever, I guess is to face your fears and lay it all out on the table. Tell them everything leave nothing out, show them, sing them, draw for them, or at lease just tell them how you feel. A wise man said, "True love, is when you tell the other person everything, hold nothing back, tell them your flaws, share with them your life... Let the Chips fall as they may. Let them love you for who you are." Sooner or later... I am going to have to step up, and make the biggest gamble of my life. Roll the dice, and find out just exactly where the chips will fall. Here's to hoping!
There is more to come, I hope =)
RockFRESH
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Brightside.
Its about being a normal person... Its about being comfortable with yourself, [thinking] on the bright side, Its like learning to accept who you are, among everyone who is trying to become perfect, Because whats the fun about being perfect? We get to be who we are, and we should love who we are...
Meg Frampton
Today, was not that bad of a day, school went by pretty fast despite the devastating hunger that I sat through my English class with, as we read an essay about Mangosteens and other exotic foods. I am starting to really enjoy that class, as for the other not so much. As for the homework aspect of it all, I am AHEAD, wow I am quite proud.
For the rest of the day, it is a shame that the Canucks had to lose to such a hurting team, we should have subbed out Luongo, since he was to proud to say he was injured. Hockey has somewhat becomg a newer kind of passion for me, I do not watch it as religously as I do Basketball, but I have a lot of respect for the people who play it. I look forward to game 5 of The Celtics vs. The Bulls, not so much for the Lakers, but what can you do right? anything to keep my mind off whats going inside my head.
As for the impending DOOM of RYCON, my volleyball practice has been cancelled, due to lack of venue... BAND will meet up on Wednesday, then DANCE till the event. I know we can do this, give it our all and have a good time... hopefully not an embarassing one.
As for the last few days not being the best, TODAY was not that bad. I did get to watch the DVD that came with my CD, and all I can say is WOW. They are way to charming, I cannot wait to see them when they come to Vancouver this summer. Love is such a strong word, but hahahaha damn, if only...
"That is all."
RockFresh
Meg Frampton
Today, was not that bad of a day, school went by pretty fast despite the devastating hunger that I sat through my English class with, as we read an essay about Mangosteens and other exotic foods. I am starting to really enjoy that class, as for the other not so much. As for the homework aspect of it all, I am AHEAD, wow I am quite proud.
For the rest of the day, it is a shame that the Canucks had to lose to such a hurting team, we should have subbed out Luongo, since he was to proud to say he was injured. Hockey has somewhat becomg a newer kind of passion for me, I do not watch it as religously as I do Basketball, but I have a lot of respect for the people who play it. I look forward to game 5 of The Celtics vs. The Bulls, not so much for the Lakers, but what can you do right? anything to keep my mind off whats going inside my head.
As for the impending DOOM of RYCON, my volleyball practice has been cancelled, due to lack of venue... BAND will meet up on Wednesday, then DANCE till the event. I know we can do this, give it our all and have a good time... hopefully not an embarassing one.
As for the last few days not being the best, TODAY was not that bad. I did get to watch the DVD that came with my CD, and all I can say is WOW. They are way to charming, I cannot wait to see them when they come to Vancouver this summer. Love is such a strong word, but hahahaha damn, if only...
"That is all."
RockFresh
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
