P.U.S.H. Why bother?

The way to love anything is to realize it might be lost.
K. Chesterton

It has been so long since I have thought of something to write. Maybe it has been my busy schedule or maybe just the lack of things to write about. Although, I have been making an effort to reconnect to friends I have not seen for a long time, that in itself has kept me quite busy. It is almost as if I am cramming so much information into my head right before a mid-term, yet it is the new information from past events that has happened to those who I keep close. It is so great to hear from them, to hear all of the joy and excitement, new adventures and experiences, just to keep me away from thinking about the "problems" that I currently face.

I guess I just have to understand that things can't always go back to the way they were. No matter how much apologizing or "one on one's" a person can have, you just can't go back to the way they were. I guess its kind of like a roller coaster... When it first starts, it is sooo high, yet after the first fall or "disagreement," it falls sooo low. After making amends it kind of goes back up, and like friendship, it can't go all the way back UP to the highest point, it will need too much energy, or their will be doubt, so you can't really go back to the "peak". One can just hope that the roller coaster keeps going as long as it can, they have their ups and their downs, but in the end if it does end, one hopes that it was worth it. You can say, YEAH! I did it, that coaster was insane dope, or yeah we were friends, I learned so much from them.

Change is inevitable when it comes to time, people change due to different situations, I just hope that the people around me will become stronger, if they are to continue to change, all I can do is be near if I am needed. God grant me the strength to cope with the things that I cannot change.

In light of my new situations, I wonder if it was all worth it. I cannot undo what I have done, or said, or even how I reacted, I can only attempt to make things right. I miss the old days when things had a certain way of being, now I pray that I can continue to live up to who I am, who I have become and who I want to be.

I am Sorry. I will try harder.
RockFRESH